


The light shines in the darkness;

by halesoul



Category: Titans (TV 2018)
Genre: Comfort, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-17
Updated: 2019-02-17
Packaged: 2019-10-30 08:03:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,643
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17824967
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/halesoul/pseuds/halesoul
Summary: The Bible: John 1:5"The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it."Rachel finally, comforts Gar after what happened in the Asylum. Because he deserves it more than anyone.





	The light shines in the darkness;

**The Bible: John 1:5**

_ "The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it." _

The darkness was part of her being, being honest, not only was a part of who she was, she was an extension of it, and vice versa. There was a point where the line she had struggled to draw between her and the darkness was so diffuse that she did not know where the darkness on the other side of the mirror began or where she began as a human being.

As a refuge and support against the fight that had inside of her own body and soul, her mother always had made her take refuge in the religion and the pregarias to the sky and God itself. Actually, she had never managed to find peace, let alone the refuge in the words of the Bible, but pretending that she did was a tranquilizer, a false feeling of peace that penetrated her body and seemed to scare away fear against herself. It was a false feeling of being safe and sound.

Surrounding herself with that false sense of calm and peace, Rachel learned each verse of the Bible. She sought consolation in each of them, sought tranquility and courage. She never found that peace but believing that she did it in moments of weakness, made her believe that she could run away from what was inside her.

As time passed, the false sense of peace dissipated and the darkness no longer receded before any prayer, before any verse. And that was how her only refuge, her only tranquilizer, turned against her too, reminding her that the darkness was part of her and that she could never defeat her.

Her fear of the cold that froze her veins, which seemed implacable, made her hate every request to heaven, and the religion. Each verse of it. Because regardless of her beliefs, regardless of everything that she had been instructed. For Rachel, those words were nothing but hoaxes, lies that kept her from understanding what she was, and what was inside her. Especially, she took a certain hate into a specific verse: "Light shines in the darkness and the darkness has not overcome it." That prerogative had been her mantra and her hope, until one day it became her curse because in her eyes, it was impossible for the light to shine in her chest, it was impossible for her heart to fit something that had a certain opportunity to fight, against the cold and the darkness. She doubted that light would win against her darkness. More than anything, she saw it impossible. So she decided, to hate that verse so she could avoid hating herself.

 

* * *

 

 

After the battle in the family home, both Trigon and Angela had escaped, they had vanished into the air swearing that their family would unite again that it was their destiny, that Rachel’s destiny was to be with her father shaping the world to their image.

Now they were on the safe flat that belonged to Batman, Dick had decided to stay there, making it his “base” for an indefinite time for their “alliance with common goal” as he called their team.

The sun was beginning to rise, Gar was in one of the crystalline rooms, dropping his head against the glass window, letting his eyes get lost in the city of Chicago. From the door ajar, Rachel could not see his face but she knew that surely his eyes were full of tears, reliving what happened in the Asylum, hating himself for attacking the man and not feeling guilty at all.

As much as Gar pretended it did not matter, that everything went well despite everything, Rachel knew that the panicked look of that doctor was etched in the mind of the changeling, that in his head the memory kept reproducing itself, that many nights Gar did not sleep because of that.

And, knowing that, it made guilt outweigh Rachel, it was too much. To know that he was like that because he wanted to help her, her and her mother, and it hurted more now that they knew that her mother was not even in danger that everything was a trap. It hurt in the depths of her chest, but she knew that this, it was not about her and her guilt. It was about Gar and his pain, Rachel knew she had to talk to him. In that time they had been together, there was never time to talk, things always happened, but in that second, in that moment, nothing was happening, everything was fine, maybe it was calm in the eye of the hurricane, but if she had learned something in that time, it was that she had to take advantage of every moment of calm, as if it were the last. Besides, she had to do it, since Gar deserved it, more than anyone she knew. So, she took a step forward and entered in the room, quietly.

“Hey …” she said, standing next to him, in the window.

“Hey.” He answered, looking away from the window, looking right at her his lips curled up into a half smile. “I was wondering, when would you come out of your hiding spot.”

Rachel smiled, and avoided his brown eyes feeling slightly embarrassed. Even though she didn't have to feel embarrassed, because they were friends (and plus, she knew that he was sneaky of both of them) and it was normal to be together, she felt her cheeks burning for a single second.

“What are you doing here?” Gar asked.

“I could ask you the same damn thing.” replied the girl.

The replying of his question made Gar laugh for a moment, and Rachel smiled looking at him over her shoulder.

“I couldn’t sleep.”

Gar dropped the answer into the air, the explanation was simple and tiny but there was so much behind those three words, and Rachel knew what that was. They both moved in the uncomfortable silence, letting their gaze get lost in the Chicago rain and the sunrise beginning to form. Gar’s gaze returned to that gloomy glow, he was letting him lose again in the recesses of his mind while Rachel, bit her lip without knowing how to start the conversation, without knowing how to give him the comfort, he needed.

"You know, back to when I was living with Melissa, before she... well... she died" began to talk, earning the boy's attention. "When the darkness was overwhelming, she made me pray."

"What?"

Rachel couldn't help but laugh at his confussion expression mixed with a "you're being serious?" expression, all at once. She turned around, facing his body with hers and he did the same thing, so now, they were facing each other.

"I'm dead serious, she made me pray." she assured him. "At the beginning, I sought comfort in those prayers, but nothing ever happened. The darkness continued to be overwhelming, so I began to hate every single verse of the Bible." before continuing she took a little pause and looked at Gar, he was watching her with a little and confused smile, not understanding why she was telling him this but somehow it made him smile, that she telling him something about her past with Melissa. "Especially, John 1:5"

"Sorry, but I'm not really into the Bible so..."

His answer made her laugh, and he laugh with her too. As always.

"It's the one that says: the light shines in the darkness and the darkness has not overcome it." she explained. "And I hated it because, I thought that it didn't exist a light it would be stronger than the darkness, until now."

Finally, Gar knew where this was going and his expression changed from one soft and confused, to one hard.

"Rachel, I'm no light."he said, shutting her out, making clear that he didn't want to talk about. But he needed to talk about it, and she wanted to tell him in which light she saw him (before and after the Asylum.)

"Well, you're for me-for us." her voice was trembling, and her cheeks were painted once again of red. Gar's expression changed instantaneously at her confession, he surely was not expecting that. "You make thing brighter, happier, just being here, being you. And honestly, I think that in times like these someone full of light like you has more strenght than anything else in the world." Even though, her heart was beating like crazy and she was feeling really embarrassed, once she began talking she couldn't stop. "Stornger than Robin, I would say."

He let a laugh out, it was a strong and clear one, and the most important it wasn't forced.

"As if." he joked, making her laugh now.

"Gar, you're light." she continued. "And your darkness won't overcome you. I don't have any doubt, neither should you."  
After that, they stayed silent looking at each other's eyes. Under the pureness and the affection of Gar's gaze, Rachel found herself having trouble to breath, as if the air didn't enter in her lungs and didn't come out. His gaze was burning against her face, she felt the urge of escaping it but she didn't want to, so she didn't do it.

"God, if you really wanted to make me feel better, you should've quoted Sirius Black." he said, breaking the silence with his words and their laughs.

"You had to ruin the moment, hadn't you?"

Both laughed, again.

"It's in my nature." was his defense, making her laugh more. "Thanks, Rach. I really needed that."

Suddenly, she wanted to stand on her toes and kiss his cheek and even giving him a hug but instead she just smiled lovingly and said:

"Anytime."

And they both turned around and watched the sunrise, while they were stealing each other some glances.


End file.
